When I’m looking to make changes in the way I do things, I need to know what’s actually happening first. Otherwise, I’m working from faulty information.
Recently, I’ve been playing with going deep into what I’m actually feeling.
Not what I’m thinking about what I’m feeling
or what I’m afraid of feeling
or what I plan to do about what I’m feeling
but what I’m actually feeling.
A freaking revelation.
Here’s my habit. I feel a little something and quick-like-a-bunny, I wrap an idea around it.
Instead, what happens if I look at what’s under the blanket?
When I do this, I can respond and take care of what’s actually happening instead of the blanket idea I’ve wrapped around it.
This happens a LOT with hunger.
In an effort to avoid the feeling and the fear around getting hungry, I quick wrap it up and go eat something. Or a bunch of somethings.
Instead, I can determine if that’s really what’s happening. Or if I need to support myself in another way. (Often, I need water.)
This “blanketing” habit happens with lots of feelings.
Distraction is sneaky and can draw me away from something I want to avoid. If I find myself doing something mindlessly like a zombie, then it’s a pretty sure sign that I’m wrapped up in the blanket.
Again, looking under the blanket tells me more about what’s actually happening and what I really need. (As in, “Ah, I don’t want to do my taxes. If I just get it done, then I will free up time and energy to do what I want to do and not mindlessly scroll through Instagram.” OR at the very least, I know why I’m doing what I’m doing so I have a choice to keep doing it or not.)
The best place to start is in the body. If you feel the blanket descending, take a moment to feel whatever physical sensations are arising (including numbness or “no feeling”).
When I drop the blanket, I can make real choices for change that get to the heart of what’s really happening.