Being too big.
All true in one way or another. I have held a belief (and I’m bound to hold it again) that I’m not enough as I am and that I need to make me a little more. So, yes, I will overstate things, make them a little more dramatic, and amplify just a tad — and it is a habit that I am looking to break.
The fall-out of overdoing things is that I then feel spent and pooped out so I collapse a bit into myself. I get exhausted by the effort of pushing.
A middle way would be nice. Instead of overdoing-and-then-underdoing, I can find strength in length. Strength in length is an aspect of the Nia principle of dynamic ease: the full embodiment of whatever I am doing. Not too much and not too little. Strength in length is full embodiment of my skin which allows my energy to flow without pushing.
My practice of Nia has helped me relax and realize that I am enough, that overdoing not only isn’t necessary but truly doesn’t serve me. I notice that when I overdo by pushing or over-extending (in my body or any other realm) I get out of balance and out of breath.
For me, the rebound of overdoing often is under-doing. The sensation of underdoing is moving “inside” my skin. It feels half-hearted and on auto-pilot. When I’m under-doing, I have a feeling of mindlessness or distraction that feels lethargic and a little spacey.
My Nana, I now see many years after her passing, was an overdoer. At Christmas, she would bring dozens of gifts for everybody and she was always worried that they weren’t right or enough. “I’ve left the tags on so you can return it!” she would say over and over. The truth is that all I really wanted was to sit in her lap and open just one. We all know over-doers. How does it feel to be with them? Are you an over-doer?
“Dude” Lebowski, Jeff Bridge’s character in The Big Lebowski, is a good-natured, weed-smoking slacker and a notorious underdoer. In this scene where The Dude meets The Big Lebowski, Bridges embodies underdoing while sitting! We all know under-doers. How does it feel to be with them? Are you one?
The middle way, the sweet spot is dynamic ease, which recently I’ve been experiencing as strength in length. Whether I’m overdoing or underdoing, I can find strength in length with just a slight shift in attention and awareness. I can extend energy beyond my skin, past the ends of my bones, fill up each movement and still be breathing and balanced.
In my body, my movement, my life, it is worth finding strength in length. This week, walk the middle way with me, fill up your skin, send energy out yet stay balanced. Breathe and feel the power and energy. Try it on and please do let me know how it feels!